We had another adventurous day with Grammie last week.  First we took her to the dermatologist... which was an adventure in itself.  My sister, who took her the last time, spoke of earning “Heaven Points.”  While I don’t agree with the concept I understand completely what she meant.  Apparently Grammie has “barnacles.”  Yes, that’s what I said.  Barnacles.  And she’s not ashamed to show them to you, either, so don’t ask. 

After the dermatologist we headed over to Safeway.  Mostly because Grammie heard Brittany say she was stopping there to buy some milk… so… essentially we were there to stalk Brittany.  As it turns out, Brit had wisely already left the building.  Anyway, as I pulled the car up to the entrance, one of the employees was pushing a long row of grocery carts back into the store.  I recognized him as the special needs fellow we’ve often seen working there.  I’ll call him Bob.

Rebekah got out of the car and headed in to get Grammie her scootie chair.  This is routine now. We’ve done it a hundred times.  Rebekah found a scootie immediately, hopped on, and began to head out the door.  And that’s when the excitement began.  As she started out the door, she caught Bob’s attention, and apparently, as it turns out, Bob considers all things scootie his job.  He immediately abandoned the carts he was pushing (which btw, were now completely blocking traffic) and ran, and I do mean RAN towards Rebekah who took one look and froze mid doorway.    Bob orders her off the scootie, but since Rebekah is much like Bob, this does not compute.  She wasn’t budging and remained frozen in place, giant blue eyes a poppin’.

And then things really began to spiral.  Flinging the car door open Grammie got in on the act.  Waving her cane in the air, she ordered Bob to leave Rebekah alone and let her bring the cart.

But Bob was having none of it. He was determined.   Abandoning the idea of absconding with Rebekah’s cart, he now jumped on the one behind her.  Speeding out the “in” door, he eventually got it pointed toward Grammie, only to park it several feet from her.   

Grammie is fussing at him, “Bring it closer!  I can’t walk over there!  What are you doing?!” 

So, Bob backs it up… and drives it in several large circles but still gets no closer. He does this at least three or four times and with each loop Grammie is getting more and more agitated.  She’s now gotten half out of the car and is waving her cane at him.  Bob takes one look and bolts w/ the scootie.

Grammie is now practically cross eyed. “You bring that cart back here!” she yells, still waving her cane. 

And Bob turns.  And begins toward her.  And he’s going fast.  And he’s not slowing down.  Now, Grammie is waving her cane and shouting STOP in every form of the word she can think of.  And I have joined her.  But Bob is not stopping.  Nor is he slowing down.  In fact he is gaining speed.  Ramming speed.  WHAMO!!!  He slams right into the side of my car door.  It bounced but fortunately didn’t hurt Grammie.  Who by the way is now so mad she doesn’t know which end is up.  “Look what you did!  You ran into our car!”  Bob now freaks completely, backs up and zooms away. 

Okay.  Just a side note here.  I guarantee you the folks at Safeway will be sitting around for years to come viewing the security tapes of this fiasco.  I know I’d pay for a copy. 

Anyway, the story is not over.  Nope.  Not even close.   I am still behind the wheel of the car with my jaw hanging open and Rebekah is still on the scootie chair stuck between the opening and closing doors.  Grammie has still yet to get her scootie, and the long row of grocery carts Bob was originally pushing are still stretched from the parking lot to the store, traffic having now made a new path up and around. 

Rebekah finally achieves forward momentum and drives the scootie up to Grammie who finally gets on and they proceed to go into the store.  I close my mouth and park the car but by the time I get inside, Grammie and Rebekah are nowhere to be seen.  However, I do see Bob.  He is seated on his scootie chair beside some folks in shirts and ties, obviously managers.  He is looking desperately unhappy not to mention wigged out.   So, I go over and say, look, everything is okay.  Don’t worry about it.  I explain my daughter and Bob are similar and I understand how these things happen. 

As I’m talking, these folks are just staring at me, saying nothing.  So I go on to say to them Bob should probably have a little more supervision.  Things could have been much worse had he actually run into Grammie and not just the car (leaving three marks on the door, btw).  Everyone continues to just stare, still saying nothing.  I’m a bit taken aback that no one is responding but finally leave them with, “Okay, well, I really think you folks need to get some help outside for Bob.”  And I go off in search of Grammie and Rebekah. 

But as I’m looking for them, I’m beginning to get a bit steamed.  I mean… really.  Not even an apology?  I’ve three dings in my door, a freaked out daughter, and a grumpy Grammie to deal with for the rest of the day and they can’t even summon a response?  So.  I finally find Grammie and Rebekah.  They are okay.  I leave them and I walk up to the front of the store.  By now I’m indignant.  I’m going to send in one of those little cards!  Ha!  So I go up to the counter and I notice the folks behind the customer service counter aren’t dressed the same as the folks I talked to when I came in.  That’s because the folks I talked to WEREN’T SAFEWAY EMPLOYEES!  Nope.  Apparently just some random strangers, possibly bank employees or something.

Oy.  So, I’m now talking to the actual manager who is very kind.  We talk about Bob and his possessiveness re the scootie chairs and, yes, perhaps someone needs to keep more of an eye on him. We continue to talk while meanwhile another employee has come up to us and obviously wants to cut in on the conversation.  He is practically dancing, so, we stop talking and turn to him.  And he says, and I’m not making this up, “WE GOTTA SHUT THE PUMPS DOWN!!!  NOW!!!”  Both the manager and I are equally stunned.  So, I look back at him and say, “Well… I’ll leave you to it then!”  And they both RUN.  Yes, RUN towards…. I guess the gas pump shut off switch.  I go get Grammie and Rebekah and hustle them out of the store and parking lot, expecting a mushroom cloud at any moment.   

I have officially decided our time spent at the Safeway is now and forever over.